Mind Over Mess: Decluttering with Ease
Why is the motivation to declutter so elusive? You are so tired of feeling suffocated in your own house. You know it will feel so good when you’re done. But there’s another part of you that also worries it will be hard, energy-draining, time-consuming, & pointless.
It’s completely normal to have conflicting thoughts, especially when you’re taking on something new that feels more than a little overwhelming. But those worries don’t have to keep you paralyzed waiting for the “right time” to get started.
If you grabbed my 5-Minute Momentum freebie, you already have a few quick tips in your back pocket to get fast traction & start creating motivation on demand. These strategies will also help you shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
Black-and-white thinking is a major roadblock to any success, but it’s especially problematic for tasks that require stamina & tenacity (aka 80% of decluttering projects). Getting your mind right is crucial to simplifying efficiently & making sure you have the energy you need to see the process through.
Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck defines a growth mindset as a belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate with effort. That means you don’t quit on yourself ahead of time by saying you aren’t “that kind of person”.
You don’t tell yourself you can’t cook. You find recipes that are easy to follow & you practice. You don’t concede that your house will always be a disaster because you’re not an organized person. You experiment with different strategies to find something that works for you. You don’t give up before even trying because you know you can become whatever “kind of person” you want.
When you have a fixed mindset, you tell yourself you’re doomed to live a certain way. You reinforce the limiting belief that it’s pointless to try anything different. You don’t look for solutions or explore creative ways to overcome obstacles. And you guarantee that you stay exactly where you are.
But when you believe that achieving anything you want is just a matter of getting the right information & implementing it, you become the version of yourself that can accomplish every goal & overcome every obstacle (in a way that feels good!).
Your brain is like a vendor on the streets of New York, shouting out any thoughts or ideas it thinks might appeal to you (regardless of whether it's helpful, relevant, or even accurate!). You get to decide which thoughts you want to buy into & which ones you want to leave at the stand.
Here are some tactics to cultivate a growth mindset:
Notice your narrative. Pull out a pen & paper, write the heading “I’m trying to declutter and…”, then spend 10 minutes (or more!) letting loose whatever comes to mind after. Even if the sentences don’t make any sense or you only have random words coming to mind. Try to write without judgment, critiquing, or self-editing. No one ever needs to see it. You aren’t posting it to social media. You can light it on fire when you’re done if you want to. The point is to give yourself space to really see your thoughts. This simple but powerful exercise will show you the unhelpful beliefs you might not even know you’re buying into.
Cultivate curiosity. When you have your thoughts in front of you on paper, pick one that’s surprising or causes you to have a physical reaction in your body (any kind) when you say it out loud. Circle it or write it out on a new piece of paper. Explore this thought, with an intentionally curious attitude. Imagine you are talking to a two-year-old. Ask yourself questions about this thought from a place of wanting to listen & connect, even if what you’re hearing makes no sense. Where did this thought come from? When have I heard it? Who said it? How do I feel when I focus on this thought? The goal is to build a relationship with your thoughts. You don’t need to worry about changing them right now. Just noticing & practicing non-judgment will allow you to dive deeper into what’s driving your decisions.
What else could be true? This can be a nuanced question to ask yourself, but so impactful (& with practice, your brain starts to just do it on its own!). When you challenge your brain on its negative assumptions, you train it to start thinking differently. The trick here is that you don’t want to fully disagree with the existing critical thought. If you try that right out of the gate, your brain will just keep offering “proof” of its current assumption. Instead, try acknowledging the existing thought & proposing an alternate theory. For example: if you think your house is a disaster, you can accept that your brain believes this to be an objective fact. But you can also ask what else could be true. It helps to do this in the third person. “I hear what you’re saying, this place is a mess (acknowledge). The kids have been having so much fun around here lately (alternative).” You can also flat-out ask your brain what else could be true & see what comes up. There is truly no right or wrong response. This is just about opening up your mind to the possibility that more than one truth can exist.
Double down on the thoughts that feel inspiring. When you look at your existing thoughts, you might discover some that you find helpful - they feel motivating, uplifting, supportive, warm-and-fuzzy. These are thoughts you want to magnify any time you’re thinking about starting a decluttering project. You won’t have to convince yourself they are true because your brain already came up with them on its own. These are motivation & mindset gold! Put them on sticky notes, set an alarm on your phone, train your cockatoo to repeat them back to you - whatever you need to do to make sure you remember and practice these thoughts regularly. Once they become your default, decluttering (& everything else you do) will become so much easier!
When you do declutter, trust your gut (even if you get it wrong). Because “wrong” is a made-up word. Any decision is only determined to be “right” or “wrong” after a human brain evaluates it. You may think it’s wrong of me to kick my dog. But if I kick my dog because he’s attacking my child, maybe you change your mind. That might be a bit extreme, but the point remains: there is no such thing as a universal right or wrong decision, in which 100% of people agree in 100% of circumstances. If something doesn’t feel right to let go of, don’t. If you think someone might be mad that you want to declutter something but it’s obnoxious for you to keep, let it go. You get to choose what’s right or wrong for you, regardless of anyone else’s opinion. You don’t owe it to anyone to trade your peace for their happiness. They are responsible for their own emotional state, just as you are responsible for yours.
Remember to show yourself compassion & kindness along the way. Decluttering isn’t just about getting rid of things. It's about your growth as a person. Practice respect for your own pace, make time for restorative self-care, & over-celebrate your progress in all its forms. How you treat yourself in this process will resonate in every other area of your life. Be intentional about the actions you choose to amplify.
You got this (& you know I’m cheering for you too)!
